Kendall's adjustment to Utah

FaceTime chat with Brooklyn in AZ on Kendall's birthday

Kendall has been a trooper and has adjusted really well.  I am sure her age has a lot to do with it, but she has been a shining light in our family for the last few months, and I am so grateful for her!

When we first got here, she would tell people, "We don't have a home.  Grandma Nancy is letting us live her at house!"  The situation to her has always been very simple and matter of fact.  She has never asked me for any toy or bedroom item that we left behind in Arizona - she simply hasn't needed those things to make her feel stable.  It's a very beautiful thing to think that all she needs is her little family to know that everything is just fine.

Kendall has missed her sweet friend, Brooklyn, on multiple occassions, but she has appreciated the fact that now she can play with her cousins (especially Hailey who is just a few months older)!  I think she has realized that it is pretty special to have her aunts, uncles (she's still trying to figure out Chris) and grandparents so close.

Kendall needs two things to be happy - a good night's rest & chocolate milk (with ovaltine & lactose-free milk).  If she's had these two things, she is the happiest little thing and loves to sing, dance, laugh, perform, and play.  She is amazing at playing by herself, and it has been the biggest blessing considering the year that we have had.

The only thing that keeps Kendall from getting a good night's sleep is the dreaded car nap!!  Here's how it works - for every 5 minutes of sleep she gets during the day, that equates to one hour awake past regular bedtime.  She's just not tired and it is insane how late she stays up if she got a nap (or at least that what it feels like)!!  The challenge has been that we are in the car a lot!  Rachel and Andrew are both in school in Lehi, which is about a 20-25 minute commute from Orem.  Andrew's preschool is only two hours, so we do errands out there before picking up the kids from school.  The silver lining is that Andrew and Rachel get out within 15 minutes of each other, so that makes it much better; and Nancy can usually arrange her work schedule so that she is out there a couple times a week at pick up time, which has been a huge help.  But it is still a lot of car time, so I have to keep a watchful eye on the princess and bust out the iPods or suckers if she's getting close to falling asleep because it is almost never worth it for her to take a car nap.

This girl is our pickiest eater by far - and it has been amplified since moving here and not being in our own space/kitchen.  She lives on chocolate milk, cereal, yogurt smoothies, frozen gogurts, fruit smoothies, hot dogs, chicken nuggets, fruit snacks, juice, peanut butter, mac & cheese, and about 5-7 dinners that I rotate through.  If you get bread anywhere near her, she will make the gagging sound and hurry away to keep herself from full-on barfing.  She either accepts or rejects the offering - which is what we call it - and if she rejects it, force feeding her will only cause gagging and so we just let her choose and try again the next meal.  One day, she was insisting that she try some apple juice, which was actually a Costco-sized bottle full of olive oil.  I tried to explain that it was oil just for cooking, but she was relentless, so I gave her a little glass full.  That was so funny!!  She still talks about that and now trusts me whenever I say that something is just for cooking.  She used to eat plain blueberry eggo waffles, but we switched it up on her and had her try a buttermilk waffle.  She not only rejected that offering, but now will not go near the blueberry ones.  Stinker!

Kendall is our little artist and is super good at coloring!  It holds her attention for the longest time and she stays in the lines and is really quite impressive at coloring pictures.  She just started drawing her own pictures and it is fun to watch her attempt shapes, letters and people and explain all about what she drew.

She is ready for potty training, but this momma is not ready yet!  Isn't the #1 rule of potty training not to do it while you are moving?  And I feel like it would be pretty rude to potty train your kid in someone else's house (Nancy has assured me that it would be fine, but I would be a basket case)!  Hopefully I didn't miss the small window of opportunity, but I hid the panties and we are going to wait a few more weeks/months.

Andrew's two cents about moving

Preschool Fieldtrip to Cornbelly's

I can sum up Andrew's thoughts on moving in two words, "I'M BORED!"

The poor guy.  His life was pretty fun and awesome in Arizona!  He was much easier when he was with a buddy, so we rotated between 5+ boys in the neighborhood and were constantly doing play date swaps.  That is all that he ever cared about and it was the first thing I'd take away if his behavior was questionable.

Moving to Utah has really cramped his style in the friend department and he has turned to electronics to cope.  He asks me for movies or iPad time all.day.long.  He struggles entertaining himself and can only play with Kendall for so long.  He is my hardest child to keep entertained - unless he has a buddy (or a movie).  He seems ok with his preschool friends, but he never talks about them or asks to play with them (plus they all live 20 minutes away).  His primary class in my in-laws ward is small and he hasn't connected with any of the other little boys enough to invite them over more than once.  Playing soccer was GREAT for him because he felt like he was part of a team and that they were all his buddies.  But it is hard to connect to people in Orem because they all know we are leaving soon and that this situation is very temporary.  Andrew has told me on many occasions that making new friends is hard and that he is done trying to make new friends!  He is already looking forward to a visit to AZ when he can play with his buddies (that - and Stapley Pool - for some reason he really misses going to Stapley).  It's sad, but I am looking forward to getting settled somewhere where we can find some new friends for Andrew.  I know that will really cheer him up!

Out of the three kids, he has had the hardest time adjusting to the weather and wearing appropriate clothes.  It is like pulling teeth to get him to wear pants and a jacket is out of the question.  At first, I wanted him to learn by natural consequence, but I swear that wasn't working and he was never cold enough to ask for more clothing or learn anything.  So we made weird rules - like pants to preschool and a jacket has to be worn walking to the car, but can be taken off in the car, and no flip flops for awhile.

In the ward we are attending, there was an opportunity to serve by providing a musical number at a nearby nursing home.  Andrew doesn't mind performing at all, so I signed him up to sing one of his favorite primary songs.  We practiced and he was ready to go!  He is pretty used to singing in rest homes since my grandma lived in one and we'd go sing to random residents, so I thought for sure it would go great.  Well, this time, it did not.  He clammed up and sang like a baby, and I was kind of embarrassed for the both of us.  When I asked him what happened, he told me that they were all staring at him, "like this" (while he showing big eyes).  We had a good laugh and I had bribed him a couple bucks to do it, so I paid up.  He has since redeemed himself by performing brilliantly in the primary program (he really sings loud like his daddy and he knew almost all the words), giving a talk in primary on serving his family, and giving a few outstanding prayers in primary (ones that even impressed Brandon and I - we gave each other a fist bump like we had something to do with it, but that time was all him and he had volunteered, so there was no prep).

Rachel's take on the big move

First day of school at a new school - Sego Lily Elementary

Paisley & Lily Worthen are Sego Lily Roadrunners!

Rachel loves Kyle & Katherine's pet rat

When we first decided to move to Utah, I didn't worry about Rachel much at all.  For her entire life, she has given us a hard time about us living away from all our extended family in Utah.  Every single trip to Utah, she has a hard time saying goodbye to everyone and asks us why we don't live in Utah.  Despite her relentless requests, her opinion was not a big factor in our decision making process (the driving force in our decision was a career change and where Brandon would have the best opportunities).  Once we made the decision and got the official job offer, we were excited to tell her.  She is outgoing, adventurous and a social butterfly and I knew she could make new friends quickly.  When we told the kids, Rachel ran around the room shouting that her "dreams had finally come true!" and she was so excited that she could hardly stand it.  Then about two minutes later, reality set in and she got real quiet and the tears began to flow and her heart broke.  She thought about all the things she'd be leaving in Arizona that she loved - her school, best friends, house, etc.  We had successfully and simultaneously made all her dreams come true and ruined her life all in the same moment.

I have been surprised at how hard this move has been on her!!  She was so stressed out about starting a new school - not knowing if the teachers were kind, wondering who the bullies and nice kids were, missing her group of friends, getting lost in the school, etc.  We had less than two weeks notice to figure out what elementary school to put her in, so Brandon and I were stressed too.  We would be living in Orem with Nancy & Val, but we were hopeful that we'd be living in/around Lehi for more of the school year than in Orem.  If we started her at school in Lehi, then she could start making friends there and we could get to know the area better.  We initially decided on Eaglecrest Elementary where I have two friends who go there who both have 2nd grade girls who I hoped would befriend Rachel.  We also had seen a few houses for sale in that area while we'd been looking and were interested that area.  We got an out-of-area approval and thought about it over the weekend.  I couldn't help but keep thinking of Sego Lily Elementary, where we hadn't found any houses for sale and weren't as familiar with the area, but the Worthen kids went to that school (Paisley - 1st & Lily - 3rd) and I knew that it would also be a good option.  You know those choices when you are choosing between two good things - those are sometimes the hardest decisions to make!  We finally settled on Sego Lily and made it to Utah just a couple days before school started.

Rachel put on a brave face for her first day and wore her "have courage and be kind" shirt.  The school had set up an adorable red carpet for the kids to walk into the school.  We had practiced where she should go from there and I watched her turn the corner and walk down the hallway.  When she turned to say one last goodbye, tears were streaming down her face, so we ran to her to give her one last hug and pep talk - so much for that, I started crying like a baby too.  But then we saw Lily and Paisley and they SAVED the day!  It was such a comfort to Rachel to know that they were at the same school and those girls were the best part of her day for the first couple weeks.  They were kind to her and met her on the playground until she got her bearings and started making some 2nd grade friends.  In retrospect, I am so grateful she ended up at Sego Lily because Lily and Paisley helped Rachel so much during those first couple weeks, which made the world of difference.

We also totally scored on Rachel's teacher, Mr. Rindlisbacher.  Since we were coming in so late in the game, we didn't have any opportunity to request a teacher and I knew a lot of the classrooms would be full.  Rachel was very nervous that she got assigned a boy teacher, but now she thinks he is the best and she is thriving in his class!  Mr. Rindy told me that when they asked him if he wanted her as a student (before meeting her), he was hesitant because he had another Rachel in the class, but he took a chance and said yes and he told me that he is very grateful to have her in class.  Not only is Rachel is a great student, a good helper, and kind to others, but I also volunteer every week in his classroom and am one of the room moms.  (Usually I am not so ambitious about volunteering so much at the school, but I thought it would help Rachel with her transition.)  Rachel getting assigned to his class was a tender mercy that I am truly grateful for, and I can see that God has had a hand in even the smallest of details with this move.

So we survived the first couple weeks of a new school, she started soccer & piano lessons with Grandma Nancy and we settled into a routine.  The rest has been a bit of a blur because her and I have had a rough go at it.  It's nothing too new because we struggled with similar issues during 1st grade - most of which revolved around homework time, but it feels worse than last year.  And like now, there were good days/weeks and bad days/weeks.  She'd get frustrated with me and end up in her room with a punishment.  Looking back now, my occasional yelling and pushing her buttons didn't help the situation and I resolved to be more patient with her and get control over any yelling (which is much easier when your mother-in-law is living upstairs).  Despite my efforts to be sweet, patient, and understanding, homework time has been a total nightmare and I feel like I am walking on egg shells with her.  She has been blowing up and the temper and tantrums have been epic.  She has been SO disrespectful to me and apparently I'm the worst mom ever.  And she goes back and forth about the whole move to Utah - she is glad to be by her cousins, but is sad that she doesn't live in AZ anymore.  She has been downright awful to Andrew (sibling rivalry/jealousy/bossy) and I have to referee their playtime.  We're all emotionally exhausted.

I have been grateful to have Nancy as a witness and to help talk through things with me.  More than a couple times, she has been a mediator or stepped in during very sticky situations with Rachel.  We've also made a couple breakthroughs to try to help identify Rachel's issues and what sets her off.  One of those issues is that she is easily frustrated when she is learning something new or isn't good at something.  I have definitely seen some perfectionism in her.  In fact, she is very nervous about getting baptized next year because she knows she will make mistakes and is worried about having to repent about everything and feeling bad about it - she just wishes she could be perfect - this is not normal pressure for a 7 year old to feel and we are trying to help her understand that everyone makes mistakes!  She also feels very jealous that the younger kids don't have the same responsibilities as her and don't have to do homework.  She is envious of the relationship that Kendall and Andrew have and she often feels left out since she's at school all day and they get to do fun things together.  They know not to tell Rachel if they went somewhere fun because that can really set her off!!  My final concern is that she is an ANGEL to adults and kids outside her home - it's almost as if she bottles it all in and then just explodes when she gets home.  Or sometimes it's more like an on/off button and she can turn it on or off when she feels like it.  We have had some difficult weeks and it has been very difficult to reason with her and choose meaningful consequences for her behavior.  I desperately want to help her and want what is best for her.  It's hard to know what she's going through and how much of this is related to our current situation and what could be a phase vs. long-term issues.  

Whew!  That was a lot of negative there about one of the sweetest, most talented, thoughtful 7 year olds that I know.  I love her so deeply, and want to be a good parent to her!  Parenting is so hard, and the oldest gets to be the guinea pig.  

Kendall turns 3

Kendall turned three and she wanted to have a Minnie Mouse Party (again!).  Brandon made her cake and it is one of my favorite that he has ever made.  He once again announced his retirement from cake making.  :)  

We went to Cornbelly's at Thanksgiving Point with Grandma Nancy to celebrate and then had presents and cake with the Parker family.  She loved all of her presents and is such a sweetheart and we are so grateful that she is part of our family!  

Camping with the Worthen's - Fall Break

Brock & Nicole Worthen are some of our closest friends from law school, and they've been trying to get us to move to Utah for 7 years.  They invited us to go camping with them for Fall Break!!  They even provided a trailer/shelter, and Nicole wanted to make sure I understood that it was NOT fancy!  It kept us warm and provided beds, so that was all we needed.  Night #1, Andrew slept in his own bed and woke up a bunch of times checking to see if we were still there, so we switched it up for night #2.  But then Kendall fell off her bed and Brandon ended up sleeping with both Kendall and Andrew.  Brandon snuck out to the open bed, but Andrew immediately knew better and asked to cuddle.  Brandon ended up with Andrew in the smaller bed and Kendall got the big bed all herself.  Ha!  It was basically a game of musical beds.

Brock's family taught us all about deer hunting and gave us our first exposure to the world of camo & orange.  Truthfully, I didn't even realize it was the deer hunt until we got there, but it didn't change the kids' schedule hardly at all.  They just ran around the property in their bright orange and played outside for hours and hours.  The women chatted and cooked yummy food and the men hunted and brought home the bacon ... or deer meat actually.  Brock's nephew shot his first deer and it is certainly a rite of passage in his family!  Our kids did not quite understand the whole thing and felt bad for the deer, but we had a good conversation about killing animals :) and they had a great time.  The Worthen kids are THE BEST kids and their cousins were so sweet to our kids and made them feel like a part of the family.  All in all, a great Fall Break!

Andrew turns 5

This guy turned 5 years old!  The countdown to his birthday was so serious and intense, that we had to make sure that the celebrations were on his actual birthday - and only on his birthday (I learned the hard way that Andrew isn't capable of spreading out various birthday celebrations across a week - he turns into a spoiled monster!).

Andrew wanted a Ninja Turtle party (you can imagine how thrilled Rachel was that he copied her - ha!) and Brandon made his birthday cake!  (Brandon also announced that it was time to retire from making cakes - we will see about that!)  I think Andrew's favorite gifts were sleeper pajamas and a sleeping mask from Aunt Kacie.  I think he wore the sleeping mask - day (on top of his head) and night - for a week straight!  Cousins helped us throw a Cowabunga party for Andrew to make him feel extra special!

Enjoying Utah's Fall

We have been soaking up Utah's fall (which I truly missed every year living in AZ)!!  It was gorgeous and unusually warm, and I think that was a special blessing especially for us!  We tried to keep busy, since we were all dealing with the move and house selling/buying stress.  That and the fact that we are living in our parent's basement with only the essentials - keeping busy was a must!

Las Vegas

On the way to Utah in August, we spent a night in Las Vegas since the kids had never been there.  It wasn't as magical or enjoyable as I anticipated, but we still had a fun time at the hotel (walking anywhere was a little overwhelming not knowing how long it would take or what interesting pictures we would encounter).  The most memorable part was making the kids walk forever to Shake Shack in the rain, but it was SO worth it!  Yummy!

Luxor's Pool

Soccer

We put the kids in soccer and the season went by fast since they had games twice a week.  Both kids did better than we expected and were much more aggressive than they'd been in previous years.  There's hope!  Andrew had both good and bad games (one game he scored 8 goals vs. another where he pouted the whole time).  His team had a wide range of ages, so when he was with the kids his own age, he did better.  Rachel did quite well and although she did not love our tips or advice to help her improve, she was always happy to go to soccer, tried her best and showed us her athletic side.  

Springville Reservoir

Rachel & 2nd cousin, Allie

Kendall loves Aunt Katherine!!

Sego Lily Carnival

With the Worthen's!

Cowabunga Bay 

We were a little cold!  We only like to swim when it's over 100 degrees!

Hogle Zoo 

Cousins are the best!! 

Riverwoods Chalk Art 

 UVU Family Fun Carnival

The kids put their names in a drawing for some bikes and scooters and Andrew & Kendall both won!  Ha!  It was a teaching moment for Rachel that I could not have paid money for.  She has some jealous tendencies, but she persevered and tried to be happy for them!  Success!  Also, this is some of the best face painting I've ever seen!  

Hiked the Y 

Fall Colors

BYU Football Games

Lego Display at BYU

Utahn's dig swig

Garth Brooks concert with the Flanagan's - what?!  Such an amazing concert!