Puppy Fail

Last week, I experienced an EPIC parenting and personal fail!  The kids absolutely LOVE dogs, and they have been asking to get one for a long time.  I always joked we could get one when Rachel was 14, thinking that by then, she's be more interested in phones than dogs!  When Rachel started saving money for a turtle (I really didn't want a turtle in her bedroom), I joked that we might as well get a family dog.  Brandon and I on and off talked about the possibility of it for awhile until I realized that I only had a small window before Carson started getting grabby/toddler-ish.  It was either now or wait 3-4 years, and I really didn't know if Rachel and Andrew could have waited.  So I started looking for something I thought I could realistically manage (I knew I couldn't do a brand new puppy), so when I came a cross a 4.5 month old mini labradoodle who was already crate-trained, potty-trained, sweet and well-behaved, we went and saw her and felt really great about it.

We surprised our kids and brought her home on Monday!  We named her Molly and she was a smart, spirited, curious, and playful puppy.  She also required constant supervision, and a great deal more of training, play, research, and socialization than I could have EVER anticipated.

By Friday, much to my shame, guilt, sadness ... I knew in my heart that I could not handle a puppy right now and give her the time and attention she deserved.  In my great effort to be a good mom and give our kids a pet experience, I quickly realized that training her to be a good family dog would ironically mean that I would need to neglect my family and the children's needs for MONTHS and the dog would need to move to the top of my priority list.  And I knew I couldn't do that, so I posted a classified ad for her.  Immediately, I felt a huge weight off my shouldn't, knowing that it was the right decision for me and our family.  By Sunday, we had found her a wonderful home - a newly retired couple with lots of land and grandchildren.  I felt that I had to move fast before we all got too attached (there were still LOTS and LOTS of tears letting her go).

I have felt absolutely heartbroken and horrible for disappointing the people that I love the very most and for failing at something I thought I could do.  However, this experience allowed me to see my priorities much more clearly, and that I really need to focus on the people in my house right now.